I absolutely love going to the gym, it is my happy place. I feel so much better after going there and working out. I’ve had some health issues here of late that have kept me out of the gym for the last month or so. Well, things seemed to be “feeling better” so I wanted to start back to the gym and get back into my happy routine.
So over the weekend I got my gym bag ready and charged up my earbuds. I packed everything up and carried it all out to the car yesterday morning when leaving for work. I even started walking again at work, not as intense as I was doing before but I am walking at least once every hour.
I had all intentions of going to the gym yesterday after work. I even thought about it throughout my day. As the time drew closer for me to get off work and head to the gym I was getting a bit anxious. I’m not sure why it’s never happened before but I really didn’t give it much thought. It was kind of a nagging thought in the back of my head.
As I was getting into the last hour of work it was becoming more prevalent in my thoughts. As the hour was coming to a close and it was almost time for me to clock out I was feeling more and more anxious about the gym. I couldn’t understand it, I know I love the gym I was looking forward to going. But the anxiety was getting very strong the closer the hour came to a close. To the point it felt like I was having a panic attack. So when I clocked out and when I reached my car I decided to go ahead and just head home. I felt relief but also disappointment in myself.
I’m not sure what happened or why I had this panic attack over going to the gym yesterday. Maybe it was a conscious premonition or some kind of conscious warning. I’m just not sure, I do know it is bothering me and I wish I could just figure it out.
Regardless of all that I did manage to go to the gym today and it felt wonderful! I was very proud of myself and what I accomplished today. I am hoping to have no more of these panic attacks when it comes to the gym. Just hoping that the answer comes to me at some point. But I consider today a win!!!