The Gym

The Gym

I absolutely love going to the gym, it is my happy place. I feel so much better after going there and working out. I’ve had some health issues here of late that have kept me out of the gym for the last month or so. Well, things seemed to be “feeling better” so I wanted to start back to the gym and get back into my happy routine.

So over the weekend I got my gym bag ready and charged up my earbuds. I packed everything up and carried it all out to the car yesterday morning when leaving for work. I even started walking again at work, not as intense as I was doing before but I am walking at least once every hour.

I had all intentions of going to the gym yesterday after work. I even thought about it throughout my day. As the time drew closer for me to get off work and head to the gym I was getting a bit anxious. I’m not sure why it’s never happened before but I really didn’t give it much thought. It was kind of a nagging thought in the back of my head.

As I was getting into the last hour of work it was becoming more prevalent in my thoughts. As the hour was coming to a close and it was almost time for me to clock out I was feeling more and more anxious about the gym. I couldn’t understand it, I know I love the gym I was looking forward to going. But the anxiety was getting very strong the closer the hour came to a close. To the point it felt like I was having a panic attack.  So when I clocked out and when I reached my car I decided to go ahead and just head home. I felt relief but also disappointment in myself.

I’m not sure what happened or why I had this panic attack over going to the gym yesterday. Maybe it was a conscious premonition or some kind of conscious warning. I’m just not sure, I do know it is bothering me and I wish I could just figure it out.

Regardless of all that I did manage to go to the gym today and it felt wonderful! I was very proud of myself and what I accomplished today. I am hoping to have no more of these panic attacks when it comes to the gym.  Just hoping that the answer comes to me at some point. But I consider today a win!!!

2 thoughts on “The Gym

  1. It’s odd sometimes how we manage to psych ourselves out of things we want to do. Anxiety can be a bug-a-boo that won’t go away and derails our plans quickly. On more than one occasion I can recall wanting to do this or that, even when I was at college, and classes were mandatory (after all they were paid for, but no one was going to call you if you didn’t go) there were times I didn’t have the work done so I didn’t go that particular day. One day turned into another and another, and it was only when I was close to failing the class that I forced myself to go, catch up on the work, and buckle down to get it done before I washed myself out.

    Fear can be a tricky thing. You just sometimes have to get out of your headspace and do what you need to do, for yourself. It’s not easy, but this human’ing thing can be a slog. I’m glad you finally were able to go to the gym, have a productive workout, and have a pleasant experience. Build on your progress. It’ll get better as you get back into your routine. High five!

  2. It has a tendency to happen in all walks of daily living. I have noticed that my anxiety has become more prevalent as I’ve gotten older. Something else for me to ponder.

    It did feel especially good to get back to the gym yesterday. My goal is three days a week. So that means a workout day for today (keep your fingers crossed). ✋ right back atcha! Thank you for the support!

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