I’ve been debating about writing this post for a while now, it may send a message to certain people or it may not. Either way I don’t wish to discuss this entry. I just wish to be able to write in my journal my true feelings to just be able to come here to be myself and unload without any reprimand or expectations of explaining. Sometimes in our lives we go through trauma that will forever change our lives. You…
I see myself as Pandora’s box, normal on the outside. But scary and damaged on the inside. But what is the old fable? Never open Pandora’s box. Does this mean I’m in a better place well I don’t know? I honestly don’t know where I am, I am just here for now. Am I letting my trauma take over and control my life, no? I am the one in control of my life. I am the only one who…
I’m sitting here in my room ALONE looking out my window. The sun is shining, but that is not my main focus. I sit here and look at the dark and dreary trees that spring has not yet brought back to life. It reflects the way I feel right now. I have recently relocated, moved away from my friends and family. (Again) Also not quite a year ago my ‘soon to be’ ex-husband left me. Since then I have been…
I have not been a very good girl the last few weeks, I’m supposed to ask my Daddy permission before I eat any sweets. And well I have been a bit more lonely these last few weeks as well as bored. So I ate a large number of sweets over the past few weeks. And I started feeling guilty about it as well as started gaining weight. So I confessed to my Daddy, at first I was making a joke…
Well, the beginning of my day was a bit stressful, I have a friend who also has a past with me. A bit of a sore spot for my Daddy. But of course, Daddy comes first in anything and everything. So I had a chat with Daddy about having lunch with this friend and letting him know (again) how our dynamic has changed. I was also nervous when said lunch came around that he may want to still carry on…
Well it happen a few days ago, it has to do with my D/s. Something was off with me and my sub. He wasn’t feeling his role and I honestly wasn’t feeling mine for quite a while. We both started ‘talking’ and it got a bit heated and well frankly scary! I thought I was about to lose the man I fell in love with. My heart was racing! My pulse was thundering! I was shaking and sweating! But like…