The Gym

I absolutely love going to the gym, it is my happy place. I feel so much better after going there and working out. I’ve had some health issues here of late that have kept me out of the gym for the last month or so. Well, things seemed to be “feeling better” so I wanted to start back to the gym and get back into my happy routine.

So over the weekend I got my gym bag ready and charged up my earbuds. I packed everything up and carried it all out to the car yesterday morning when leaving for work. I even started walking again at work, not as intense as I was doing before but I am walking at least once every hour.

I had all intentions of going to the gym yesterday after work. I even thought about it throughout my day. As the time drew closer for me to get off work and head to the gym I was getting a bit anxious. I’m not sure why it’s never happened before but I really didn’t give it much thought. It was kind of a nagging thought in the back of my head.

As I was getting into the last hour of work it was becoming more prevalent in my thoughts. As the hour was coming to a close and it was almost time for me to clock out I was feeling more and more anxious about the gym. I couldn’t understand it, I know I love the gym I was looking forward to going. But the anxiety was getting very strong the closer the hour came to a close. To the point it felt like I was having a panic attack.  So when I clocked out and when I reached my car I decided to go ahead and just head home. I felt relief but also disappointment in myself.

I’m not sure what happened or why I had this panic attack over going to the gym yesterday. Maybe it was a conscious premonition or some kind of conscious warning. I’m just not sure, I do know it is bothering me and I wish I could just figure it out.

Regardless of all that I did manage to go to the gym today and it felt wonderful! I was very proud of myself and what I accomplished today. I am hoping to have no more of these panic attacks when it comes to the gym.  Just hoping that the answer comes to me at some point. But I consider today a win!!!

Leftovers

Have you ever left your leftovers out to cool before you put them in the fridge? Well, I like to do that because it’s just a preference of mine. I made spaghetti last night and as always when I put up the leftovers so I can wash the dishes I left them out on the counter so they can cool.

Well, I sat and watched my program for a little while even got up and made myself some dessert, which as you know would take me into the kitchen. Not paying any attention to the leftovers that I left on the counter to cool. Well I finish my dessert and my program, I get up to shut everything down and put my dishes in the sink. Again the leftovers are still sitting on the counter. Do I see them NO! I walk right past them and proceed to go to bed.

I get up in the morning and guess what I find, yep you guessed it my leftovers! So what I was planning on having for dinner tonight again I sadly had to toss. Now it will be a different dinner and a loss that I wasn’t counting on. Ugh, just one of those moments you want to kick yourself in the butt!

Easter Weekend

I had a really nice Easter weekend, I got to spend some time with my sister. We went to Natural Bridge in Virginia and enjoyed a nice walk down the path and under the bridge. It was a bit hard for my sister because she has stage 4 bone cancer. But I am proud of her she did the whole walk down and back. I fear that she will not be with me for many more years so I take every opportunity I can to spend with her. I’m not sure what I am going to do when that day comes but I am hopeful she has some kind of miracle cure.

I also went to some friend’s house for Easter dinner. That was a very nice dinner and day. I was watching as their kids opened the Easter baskets from the “easter bunny” and it brought back memories of when I was a little girl and my mom would put out easter baskets for us and tell us that the “easter bunny” came. I sure do miss getting those easter baskets.  Maybe one day I’ll start getting an easter basket again😊😊

I have been doing alot of exercising and some dieting more like eating a bit healthier and cutting down on portion sizes. When I went to my friends house they had some pretting fatty foods and not so good food for diabetics, but I just went ahead and enjoyed myself a bit of the good food. But it is back to the strict routine tomorrow. Well this is going to be a short blog post, it is getting late for me and I’ll be going to bed soon as it’s back to work tomorrow.

Going to the Gym

I have been going to the gym on and off for about 4 years now. I had a previous membership at PF and I enjoyed that membership. But when covid hit it put a dent into my workout regimen. One, the gym reduced their hours and even closed for a period of time which put a dent into my attendance there. Sometimes it’s hard to schedule time to go to the gym when you have to schedule around work. Two, I didn’t particularly want to take a chance on my part to get covid so I didn’t take advantage of my membership.

Well after covid restrictions started easing up and the gym started staying open it’s normal hours more and more people started attending the gym. Which is understandable but made it very hard to get to a machine. This started making my workout sessions longer and putting me home later which would put me in a rush to get my shower, dinner and other routine things I do after work. So it made it difficult to get everything done before bedtime (work nights). So I was losing sleep and getting wore out from trying to keep up my schedule of work, gym and responsibilities for myself. So my gym time diminished some. Then it started getting more and more crowded (I don’t do well in crowds) so eventually I stopped going and was paying for a membership I never used. Well after paying for several months where I never even looked at the gym much less go I finally went in and cancelled my membership.

Several months went by with no gym no membership. Which at first I was ok with because of crowds and covid. But you see I very much enjoy going to the gym ( I know you’re like “WHAT!” 😉) it not only makes me feel better physically it is good for my mental status as well. I go in go straight to the locker room change into my gym clothes and then put in my headphones and turn my music on. That’s when the outside world fades away and I can escape. Much like when I play with my Master and I go into subspace. Although that escape is a bit deeper but it’s the same aspect. So I was missing my gym but I didn’t particularly want to go back to PF. Don’t get me wrong it’s a good gym it’s just a bit too crowded for me and makes it harder for me to escape.

Well a while back I met a man through the FB dating app and we dated for a bit (that is a story for another time) through him I met a very nice lady ‘his cousin’ and we hit it off pretty well. 😊 Come to find out she is the manager of the YMCA at first I didn’t think anything about it but then my sister was commenting she would like to be able to go somewhere that has a pool. So that got me thinking about the lady and the YMCA so I got in touch with her to see what it would cost me to join. She did some wrangling and got me a pretty good deal. So here we are again the member of another gym.

Well I will have to admit I wish I would have joined the YMCA before I did PF. It is a lot better and not as crowded (bonus!) So I started going kind of here and there nothing regular yet. But I was getting a good feel of it and enjoying the pool. My sister hasn’t found any slack in her schedule yet to be able to enjoy the pool but I’m hopeful. And the more I went the more regular I became. My Master and I also have a little incentive set up that if I go a whole week (Mon,Wed, Fri) I’d get a reward. Which is a very nice incentive but of course it isn’t expected. So far I have kept to that schedule the last couple of weeks.

Well we’re finally getting to the point of this post. You see the gym was only open a partial part of the day on Monday because it was a holiday and sadly they were closed before I got off work so I didn’t get to attend. I was a bit bummed and also my routine was thrown out of wack. Which doesn’t bode well for me! One I get “shook out of place” it’s hard to get myself back into place. So I figured I can just go Sunday and skip Monday for that week. Well I didn’t sleep well the night before so I as well as my body was just tired and I didn’t want to take the chance of injuring myself at the gym. Then I told myself I’ll just go Tuesday well other issues have stopped me from doing that. Are these excuses or real reasons? Well they’re in lays the rub. I’ve been tossing this around in my head. So now Wednesday is about to roll around ( one of my regular scheduled days) and now I am telling myself well I have a munch (dinner with friends) that Wednesday and I’m not sure I’ll have enough time to shower and get dressed if I work out.

Technically I would have enough time to work out and make it home in time to shower and dress. Now mind you I will have to go with wet hair and rush rush when I get home. So I’m here to get your vote/opinion on this. Excuse or legit? As I said before once I’m kicked out of my routine it is very hard for me to get back into it.

Thank you for reading this short story 😊 I just wrote. I do hope I hear from y’all on what verdict you come up with.

Support in getting Healthier

Well I’ve noticed in the last few months that I am gaining weight, I was maintaining before. But since the virus has hit and my gym is closed it’s been alot harder! So I’ve been trying to cut back on my food intake. It’s been a back and forth battle. And not really having anyone to support me or keep me in check, it’s been even harder!

I was hoping to incorporate my Masters help but that didn’t work out as I’d hope. But a long time friend of mine (ex sub) came back into my life probably about six months ago, he is also over weight and trying to lose weight as well. He was also doing it alone with no results in sight! So I started encouraging him as well as praising him when he accomplished a goal! And I’ve been doing this for him for a few months and it’s been helping him with his weight loss as well as emotionally.

Well today he started checking me and helping me stay on track. And wow! What a difference it is to have that kind of support! It honestly makes all the difference in the world.

I’m putting this out here to see if I can get some ideas on how to better support him and also to help me along as well. So any advice or success stories are very much welcomed.

Bad Girl with Sweets

I have not been a very good girl the last few weeks, I’m supposed to ask my Daddy permission before I eat any sweets. And well I have been a bit more lonely these last few weeks as well as bored. So I ate a large number of sweets over the past few weeks. And I started feeling guilty about it as well as started gaining weight. So I confessed to my Daddy, at first I was making a joke of it. But then Daddy expressed his disappointment and it was no longer a joking matter. And now I’m sad and very angry with myself. I don’t like to disappointment my Daddy. But I did, so I am hoping that this entry will make my Daddy happy with me again.

I have a very hard time controlling my sweet intake and food intake as well. So if I just follow Daddy’s orders I would eat better. I’m sorry Daddy, I love you!