I haven’t made a journal entry in quite some time, I thought maybe I’ll give it another try so here I go. It’s been kind of a whirlwind since the beginning of this year. A lot of things have changed and well we are all just trying to make it day by day. When I was married raising my children taking care of my husband’s needs as well as the household everything seemed to be in order. I knew what…
My Dom and I were having a discussion yesterday afternoon. It was about doming from a distance. Before I felt that I couldn’t express myself in these journal entries. I felt that my D/s would be put on the line and I’d find myself alone. But I feel more confident now with the constant reassurance that I receive from my Dom that our D/s is strong and will last till the end and a day. So here I am expressing…
Well I’ve noticed in the last few months that I am gaining weight, I was maintaining before. But since the virus has hit and my gym is closed it’s been alot harder! So I’ve been trying to cut back on my food intake. It’s been a back and forth battle. And not really having anyone to support me or keep me in check, it’s been even harder! I was hoping to incorporate my Masters help but that didn’t work out…
I’ve been debating about writing this post for a while now, it may send a message to certain people or it may not. Either way I don’t wish to discuss this entry. I just wish to be able to write in my journal my true feelings to just be able to come here to be myself and unload without any reprimand or expectations of explaining. Sometimes in our lives we go through trauma that will forever change our lives. You…
I see myself as Pandora’s box, normal on the outside. But scary and damaged on the inside. But what is the old fable? Never open Pandora’s box. Does this mean I’m in a better place well I don’t know? I honestly don’t know where I am, I am just here for now. Am I letting my trauma take over and control my life, no? I am the one in control of my life. I am the only one who…
They all interact with one another. If you lose one it inevitably puts a chink in the chain. Makes the chain weaker and unstable. We will have changes in our lives that will create such chaos, pain, and irreversible consequences, they will bring us literally to our knees. We wonder if we will ever get back up again, some days we are barely able to lift one leg and kneel on a knee. Until we are knocked right back down…
I have put off making this entry, for the simple fact that I have been burying a lot of what is now built up in me to a mountain form. But I know in the long run it will help to get it out there and off of my shoulders. It has been a hell of a year, and a hell of a couple of months. Let’s just say it all started on May 15, 2017, the day my husband…
My Daddy is a great man. I have been blessed with him in my life. The day I met him I knew there was something special about him. Now he is very special to me. He is my world, my everything! I’ve never felt as dedicated and loyal to anyone as much as I do to my Daddy. Throughout the time we have been together he has taught me so much and still is, he has shown me this whole…
I’m kneeling on my sub pillow awaiting my Master’s arrival. It’s situated at the front door, so it’s the first view he gets when he enters his house. I am naked,my legs folded underneath me,hands palm down on my knees. All I have on is my collar with my leash attached to it,laying down between my knees so he can grab it as he wishes. My head slightly bowed. I wait patiently for his arrival. I hear his car pull…
I’m sitting here in my room ALONE looking out my window. The sun is shining, but that is not my main focus. I sit here and look at the dark and dreary trees that spring has not yet brought back to life. It reflects the way I feel right now. I have recently relocated, moved away from my friends and family. (Again) Also not quite a year ago my ‘soon to be’ ex-husband left me. Since then I have been…